Through the Storm, He is Lord of All

During pregnancy, one can expect routine ultrasounds and doctor appointments.

Routine.
 
Tuesday's appointment certainly started off routine. But then the sonographer invited the doctor in to give me the news. I sat there on the table of the dark room with a tired Little T as the doctor described to me that little Baby Boy has numerous bilateral choroid plexus cysts in his brain and dilated kidneys. The problem really isn't that they are there, but more so that them being there can indicate a genetic abnormality. Something could be very wrong with the baby. The doctor said simply that he wanted me to speak with a genetic counselor before I left the hospital that day. An incredible load of information had been dumped on me to process about the precious boy growing inside, all while being mama to a perfect little boy who had not yet napped that day. My two-appointment routine day had turned into a three-appointment day definitely-not-routine day. My mind couldn't help but wonder...what if there really is something wrong with Baby? I never thought about being a parent of a special needs child. What if he didn't even survive the pregnancy? What if I never got a chance to meet my little boy before he returns to his Savior? What if I didn't bring this baby home from the hospital? What if Little T and Baby Boy never had the opportunity to play together?

I did go today to have blood drawn for further genetic screenings and they will continue to closely monitor Baby's growth and the progress of the cysts over the next months until delivery.

To say I was nervous going into my appointment today would be an understatement. Driving in, I turned on the radio to focus on anything else. At that moment, the song "Cornerstone" by Hillsong started playing. I was moved to tears.  

Thank you, Lord, for this sweet reminder that you are in control. The weak are made strong in Your love. That You will alone give us the strength we need to get through this pregnancy regardless of the outcome. That You can give this little one the strength he needs. You alone will give us all we need to parent this beautiful child that You have loved and planned for even before conception. Through this storm, when in moments it does feel incredibly dark, You are there and You are Lord of all.

The Lord knew I needed to hear this today!